Boyfriend demands girlfriend of 1 year to let him move in rent-free since he's starting his own business, girlfriend says no: ‘Am I being unsupportive… or reasonable?’

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Oct 12, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Deciding to live with a romantic partner is a huge step in the relationship. You are giving up your private space to share one with someone you love. It's a step towards sharing your life together completely (aka a step towards marriage). So, if your partner is using moving in together as a career tactic after only one year of dating, maybe you should reevaluate the relationship. But, what do I know? I only did just that and ended up having the most devastating and messy breakup of my life after five years and wished I hated waited a little longer than a year for making that move. But whatever. 

How about you take the warning signs of this woman? She's been dating her boyfriend for a year and then he asked to move in with her. She had a roommate moving out, so she thought, why not? Rookie mistake. The biggest red flag, however, was that when she offered the room to him, he refused because he wanted to live with her for free… Now he's wondering if he can just store his stuff with her, for free, while he couch surfs. Like, pardon?

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  • "AIO for not wanting my boyfriend of 1 year to live with me rent free while he launches his small business?"

    Cheezburger Image 10562254336
    via Unsplash+ (and Blake Cheek)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Maybe I am being selfish or unsupportive or an a hole but basically here's the sitch; this year my bf moved into an apartment that had a monthly cost of nearly 3x his rent.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • He did get a raise around that time but only by like $2, so it doesn't really balance out his income to his new living costs.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Anyways, he has been down about no having as much spending money and going back to living paycheque to paycheque .he brought up moving in together early this year HE DID not me!
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Because we've both been struggling to pay our rent and it would help us. I didn't wanna move into his apartment and he couldn't break his lease to move into mine also I didn't have the capacity at the moment.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • My roommate is abruptly moving out this month and my bf lease ends in January. He could technically move in and pay rent for December 1 which would only be 750 even less than what he was paying in the dorm.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • All inclusive too. Because he paid first and last so he doesn't have to pay for the last month.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • I'm sure me and my other roommate can handle November rent just one month we've done it before.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Problem is when we talked today I expected him to jump at the opportunity but to my surprise he said he can't.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Even though HE has been the one to bring up moving in together to save money and he did consider moving into my apartment because then he would have a room for himself because my room is crowded and I don't want to get rid of anything and our sleep schedules don't align so he could sleep in his room and me my room sometimes when I'm not tired when he is.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • But he said he can't, he said he is starting a lease on a business location in November and will be paying 1,500 a month for that and he can't afford a 750 on top of that since it is a new business and he doesn't know what his income will be.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • He said the realtor of his business location added a clause or insurance for him to stay there.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • It is a commercial unit in a residential building like an apartment complex in the bottom front of it.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • He says he will get access to the laundry room and the gym and showers and bathroom.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • I asked where is he going to sleep how is he going to cook or store his clothes or his bed he was so reluctant to get rid of when he talked about moving in with me he was like I love my bed don't want to get rid of it it's not a big unit it's quite small so he can't have his bed and even a couch big enough to sleep on doesn't seem realistic there.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Also I didn't think living in your business was even allowed?? But idk cuz it's in an apartment complex so maybe it his.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Then he said he is only going to stay there when he is working late and other nights he will stay at my house and keep his stuff here.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Cheezburger Image 10562246912
    via Unsplash+ (and Sander Sammy)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We cannot possibly be the first ones to call out the red flags here, in fact the comment section sides with us. But it's okay, we're all made some questionable decisions when it comes to love. We just hope this woman reads the comments in her post!

  • That's what my problem is and I didn't say anything when he mentioned it I just ended the convo because I needed to think about how to respond.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • If it's rational or if I'm being selfish and unsupportive, he stays over here mostly anyways because downtown parking is expensive and he doesn't have wifi or a tv or anything really to do at his place so I get bored and so does my dog.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • But he stays here maybe like 1, 2, MAX three nights and that is when 1-2 days is us actually spending the weekend together but he says he will have to work 7 days a week and I won't see him as much so basically he just wants to sleep here and keep his stuff here and not contribute to the rent?
    via itssofiababyxo
  • If he doesn't rent that room, then I will have to rent it to Someone else and there's literally no more room in my apartment for his stufffwithout it getting way too cluttered.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Of course he can sleep over when we are hanging out but I don't really want to be a crash pad for him I don't think that is fair to me or my roommates.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • I'm confused because he was talking about renting a room from his friend too and now all of a sudden he is living in his commercial unit and couch hopping at my place?
    via itssofiababyxo
  • That doesn't help me financially like he first proposed? I want to tell him he can spend the weekend here and obviously pack clothes to wear and his toothbrush all that for the days he is staying like a mini vacation but he can't store his stuff here there is no room in my room or shed or anywhere unless he is getting the room.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Also if you're not renting I can't give you a key to come whenever you want if I'm at school or away or sleeping and the fridge is full too so you can't really store your food here either that would mean taking space away from me and my other two roomates and we usually have a jam packed fridge.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • I don't want to give him an ultimatum or seem like I'm unsupportive of him, I think if I lived by myself I would totally be okay doing that but I don't there's three people (well two now) living here if he doesn't get the room on top of him and it's not fair to them either.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • Because he lives by himself and I have a key to his apartment. But like I said if I lived alone I would totally do it.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • But I have other people to think of here, and I see all the time people complaining about someone's bf or gf staying rent free and I love my co tenant us two are on the lease we've lived here for five years she is like family and my dog lives her too I don't want to make her not want to live with me and move out end our lease and then have to move.
    via itssofiababyxo
  • I'm going to stay here until I find my forever home. I told him I think he is being stupid I do not think that is realistic and I would realize that now while you have this opportunity because down the road by the time you do realize it you don't have this opportunity I'm not going to kick someone out for you but now someone is leaving by there own and like WE TALKED ABOUT I expected you to move in like we literally talked about and now you're living in your business?
    via itssofiababyxo
  • I just don't think he's realistic or logical here. It doesn't make sense. Am I being unsupportive and a selfish a hole or am I being reasonable here?
    via itssofiababyxo

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